The times, they are a…fucking disappointment mostly. But there is one silver lining. Thanks to the internet and misunderstood geniuses like Elon Musk (the self-driving car of CEOs) we are now all privy to the VERY BIG FEELINGS of men who like football.
Remember the good old days? When Republicans were angrily burning their nikes and pledging an NFL boycott because a Black man had an opinion. Well, Meltdown Season has returned, and this time the threat is none other than the lovecraftian horror known as female pop music.
Taylor Swift is in her athlete era. Suddenly, a whole swath of people who never gave a fuck about carbon emissions are out holding hands with Greta Thunberg. What does it take to make a Republican “go woke?” A little blonde pop star.
But this reaction to female fandom isn’t new. We see it whenever a woman is too much of something- too loud, too honest, too comfortable in spaces reserved for men.
As a Queer woman, I am contractually obligated to follow at least one sport. Long ago, I had an ex who liked the Raiders. Long story short, left the guy but kept the team. Now, each year I get up to 3 CEUs (Masters, Bisexuality) for fulfilling my football viewing obligations.
Of all the things I do that piss men off, having a football team is near the top of the list. Even expressing such a preference typically comes with an entrance exam. Wear a black and silver t-shirt and a man will materialize to ask you if you even know the name of the quarterback. A similar effect occurs when a woman wears a band t-shirt. The arenas may be slightly different, but the problem is the same. A “woman” has entered a space that is owned by The Men. Allowing women in that space inherently devalues it. Whenever women like something en masse, the cultural narrative quickly deems that thing as frivolous, unserious, and other updated versions of “hysterical.”
Never in my wildest dreams did I expect that this year Taylor Swift would be able to make the cringiest NFL fans so mad that they would be forced to devote their loyalty to….San Francisco?
Yes, America’s Queerest City is getting the love and support of Republicans across the country. Suddenly, men who love to own the libs are using phrases likes “carbon footprint” and “billionaire class.” While musical taste is subjective, I think we can all appreciate the joy of watching stupid people get angry. And with that goal in mind, Taylor Swift is this year’s MVP (Most Valuable Popstar).